what and why do you why my whats or perhaps you have whatted my why and for that i ask why or what you want to know what about and why, oh why does this happen you unpretentious ones!?
she said i’m wide awake as her eyes fell low
her eyes fell low and her soul jumped high
her soul is gone and now her body is mine
we fucked twice and now her soul she finds
ive come to the conclusion that peter and lois die in some accident and stewie is sent to a foster home where he is adopted by two crazy old people and taken to new york city where he is renamed arnold.
i’ve learned to greet pain with a smile for we have been friends for a very long time now.
the maddening sounds of silence have returned and it is now louder then ever.
nothing is real.
we came from nothing.
the only reason we are is because nothing is something and everything around you becomes something because you are something.
you now say what the fuck are you talking about.
you can’t get nothing from nothing.
now this is where i explain in simple terms what i’m saying to you.
you just got nothing from nothing.
that =0 is still something.
you got nothing from nothing which became something.
=0 now becomes =1
1 being you
you being something
something x’s something always = something.
so because you’re something everything around you is only something because you allow it to be something.
you being something x’s anything at all = something
you x’s nothing is what?
no matter how many somethings there are, it results to nothing if x’s nothing.
1 x 0= 0
1,305,456 x’s 0= 0
you =1 which = something which what now? = nothing
the only reason anything exists is because you apply yourself to it. when in tern it is nothing.
shed everything. forget all that you know, and accept that you know nothing.
everything comes to a still and you begin to learn.
nothing is real.
why do i write?
because the page is the only thing that has ever truly listened to me my entire life.
to be honest nearly everyone that i speak to or meets me thinks im insane, but in my world, my reality of unreal and possible choice, i feel they’re all the ones who are insane and easily blinded.
i feel like,
some guy thinks the sky is purple.
and he thinks he knows this and because he thinks he knows this he wont even look up at the sky.
just like you know 2+2=4 and wont accept any other number as the answer he knows its purple.
and then im over here like this,
i dont know anything at all and i dont claim that i do. i would like see things from all spectrums.
guess ill look up.
i then see that the sky is blue and then im like,
its not purple its blue.
and he’s like no youre insane.
and im like what.
purple sky man being he=everyone
blue sky man being im=me
now take that example up there and apply it to every aspect of me.
i feel like everything i can see the way that i do is so natural and comes so easily that i figure anyone else can do so too.
but then everyone is like no wait its purple! i dont need to look up! and im screaming,
pointing up and looking directly at the sky.
the man who knows the sky is purple laughs at me with the rest of the people around him we call society and then he walks off with all who follow his “knowledge of the purple sky” into the ever so obvious blue sky.
dimethyltryptamine is a huge factor into quantum physics and it mixes with melatonin every night creating your dreams right.? your dream world is the lower plane of the 5th dimension and consists of literally every single thought that every single living molecule has ever had since the beginning of nothing, even if you thought about it for just a second.
in this plane, your dreams, you literally can do anything you want. things you can’t even think of. basically you are “god” and the world before you is yours to do with what you will.
half the time you’re “god” and sleeping you don’t realize you’re dreaming though. get real, nobody lucid dreams every single night. so unknowing you’re “god” in your world of whatever you want, what if there was an earth below you.
on this earth another society filled with people like you and me, with families, jobs, dreams, people in pain, and people happy. “god” is not real because you’re “god” and you don’t even know you’re sleeping and have incredible “power”. though people still seem to cling to your being yet you’re unaware.
when you wake up and you’re back in this “reality” what if someone else just went to sleep? now they are the unaware “god” and you are in that earth below whoever’s “heaven”.
so a world that is not real, all you have is choice, but the choice might not even be yours because that sleeping person, yeah “god” could possibly subconsciously living all of your lives making all your choices for you and not even know it.
they wake up? another one goes to sleep. the cycle continues.
there’s still only one escape.
ill never understand cheating.
there is no point.
don’t be in a relationship if you’re going to cheat.
it fucks everything up forever, the relationship itself, someones emotions and mindset about you and especially them-self, none of that shit will ever goes back to how it was beforehand.
it’s really simple,
don’t fucking cheat.
i have an undeniable horrible struggle between driving head first 100 miles per hour into a still object or weather or not i should wear a snapback or beanie for the day.
i don’t like other people because i really don’t like myself.
all hatred placed elsewhere is self reflected.
we are all so weary and distraught of this world.
i believe it safe to say we have become mindless programs to a broken computer.
there are places in and around our great cities where the natural world has all but disappeared. we can make out streets and sidewalks, parking garages, advertising billboards, monuments made of glass and steel; but not a tree or a blade of grass or even an animal, except for humans. probably the most common animal we see on a daily bases.
we have to look up through a skyscraper canyon to see a single star, or a slight bit of blue. most of human history was spent outside of industry yet now we’re all enclosed. opening a window to let “fresh air” is not fresh. the air is polluted, we breathe in poison.
it’s not hard going to work everyday in such a place, to be impressed with ourselves. how we’ve transformed the earth for our “benefit and connivence.”
a few hundred miles up or down there are no humans. we are way to cocky believing we have higher purposes or reasoning when we can’t even take care of our home.
in the last ten thousand years we’ve destroyed our home one day at a time. we’ve slaughtered our oxygen supply, painted the skies grey, domesticated plants and animals.
we traded our home for materialistic objects that can be taken away in a heartbeat and you wonder why almost everyone you meet is depressed.
i thought it was just me for a very long period of time but i’ve come to realize more then half of us aren’t even living. i’ve been here for 20 years and haven’t lived a day of my life. we exist, we don’t live.
we have human beings on every continent and the remotest islands, from mountains to the bottom of the ocean we are everywhere. why is it that we all feel so alone? why are all of us seeking for more. nothing is ever enough.
we are victims of our own success.
so alone in this universe of infinity, our parasitic species killing each other off then crying about violence.
we publicize crime more then art.
we speak about death more then we do life.
we talk and don’t listen.
now we ask ourselves again, why do we feel sad and alone? it seems we have become stupid too. who wants a program that can’t function properly? maybe that’s why we’re so alone. we’re all broken out of date software.
we are brought up to make this paper from our supply of oxygen called money to survive on a dying planet amongst nothing but parasites; ourselves. yet our planet and our solar system are surrounded by a new world ocean of infinite possibility and depth called space but i still need five dollars for chinese food.
everything you see on a daily bases, from any status on Facebook, tweets, pictures on tumblr, random person you see walk by, that is all downloaded into your brain and processed. we see so much useless idiotic information that our downloads are mostly viruses slowing our systems down until we either operate extremely slow or just break.
you’re alone because you do nothing to fix it. you seek for company in other parasites rather then yourself. you’ll always be alone if you can’t keep yourself company.
you’ll always be sad if you cant make yourself happy, nobody will do it for you.
everything you hate about someone else is not because of them or anything they “did” or have “done” its simply the things you hate about yourself. humans can’t own up to or take responsibility for anything. we have excuses upon excuses for every single thing. we blame whatever we can other then us. we’re brought up this way. you reflect your insecurities and doubts about yourself into other people subconsciously or knowingly; either way you do it. then you hate or dislike them. everything you don’t like about someone are the things you don’t like about yourself.
the reason i am in the position i am right now at 1:55 AM friday march 22 2013, the reason i feel how i feel, think how i think, am who i am, am where i am, is because of no other reason then me. i am right here right now because of me.
so are you.
you’re sad, you’re angry, you’re jealous, you’re in love, you’re homeless, you’re broke, you’re hungry, whatever the fuck it is, its because of you.
here come your excuses.
well this person broke my heart,
this person hit my friend,
i got kicked out,
i cant afford food,
i don’t have a car,
you have the power to change anything you desire. you just don’t because you’re so busy coming up with reasons as to why you cant do something or why something made you feel a certain way rather then taking responsibility for yourself and acknowledging its all you and if it is all you what does that mean? that means only you can bring yourself back up.
this weary place hurts to wake up to, one day soon i’m not going to wake up anymore and these will become forgotten faded words.
if i’m change i have done nothing worth remembering or anything up to the standards i would have liked though i will not give up.
i’ll never quit.
revolution is somewhere out there and i think that’s what needs to happen next.
passion isn’t taught, find it in yourself or be another broken piece of hardware.
be nice because you are a nice person not because you want something in return.
we are so easily mean and cruel to everyone around us but yet its still so hard to be nice.
you can yell out your window at kids while driving for them to go fuck themselves laughing but you can’t say bless you to someone you’ve never met at the deli.
i’m so sick.
i am the color the brush splashes along a white canvas.
the man painting is blind so he has never been able to see the beauty he creates. everyone enjoys his artwork and can see the amazing blends and details of his art with its unique out of the ordinary twist as for the painter? he’s never seen a color in his entire life.
40 years old and he has not once smiled because he has never seen one yet,
day after day his work lives and he allows his wrist to flow with the rhythm and the paint.
he inspires and gives joy,
he gives hope and people look up to him,
but he is now 60 and still has not seen a single color.
nor has he smiled,
nor will he.
for on this day in particular, he dies.
he was painting of course until his brush had fallen from his fingertips and he had collapsed out of his chair.
his heart had finally given in.
the unfinished painting he was working on had lived longer then anything he had created before that and had given a meaning to people all around the world.
he had touched their hearts on a level that no artist has before.
yet now the irony of how the dead painter sees only in color and only in smiles and as the rest of the world he had touched will cry and wallow over his demise never to see his work again.